Jan. 23rd, 2010

[identity profile] deadwesley1.livejournal.com
~Things are definitely, hellishly out of hand. Wesley is shrieking at himself to stop, but his body is completely indifferent, paying attention only to whatever bloodthirsty, perverse demon is controlling him. Wesley is getting the shit kicked out of him, but Wesley definitely has the upper hand. He's strangling Snape and Snape is helping.

Wes feels himself losing control. It hasn't been easy staying sane. He wasn't exactly winning the battle when he was alive. It seemed as though he was making some progress when he was pitted against Vale; it gave him focus, something to cling to, a desperate goal to cling to. He HAD to remain sane if only to destroy Vale. Then, Vale destroyed him.

Staying sane doesn't seem so important in Hell- in fact, being insane might even help one cope. But once Wesley met Snape, a tormented soul in need of rescue, in need of leadership and guidance and help, Wesley had a new found grasp on sanity. Wasn't that his sole purpose in life, his driving need- to help, to save people. He may have failed miserably in life (at everything he attempted, actually) but maybe he could still make a difference for one person.

But in life Wesley hadn't failed to become a fighter. He learned to hone the training he'd received as a Watcher into deadly force. He mastered his own body, turned it into a weapon. His specialty was distance weapons, true- he had incredible aim- but he certainly wasn't helpless in hand to hand combat with most vamps, and that made him deadly to any mortal man if that man crossed him.

Wesley stares in horror as he struggles to take back control of his voluntary responses. He knows his hands are working hard to snap Snape's neck, and he also knows he has the strength to do it. Luckily, Snape has managed to dislocate one of Wesley's kneecaps, somewhat weakening Wesley's position. Though Wesley's body tries to avoid Snape's blows, Wes can't help but hope Snape manages to take his other leg out and entirely disable him. He doesn't want to be a murderer again. Ever.~


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